Lord, Make It Count
I am so blessed to be a member of a church where women are willing to reach out and minister to others. Each week the women gather for a Bible study where we study prayer, how to pray, what to pray, and then we practice what we learn.
Tonight I had the pleasure of attending this Bible study during which God used a woman in our church to teach me a new truth. One that I am extremely grateful for!
Many times when we pray it is for healing, strength, guidance, or to receive something we want or think we need. Others pray "Lord, Your will be done." But tonight I was challenged to pray differently.
Tonight I was challenged to pray, "Lord, make it count!"
So many times we face trials in life. Whether it be moving away from family, losing a loved one, or even financial struggles. In those times we tend to lose sight of what really matters... reaching the world with the gospel of Christ. We become so focused on our own struggles that the world around us fades into the background.
How do I know this? Because I've been there!
In April of 2015, my world was rocked at the very foundation. After six years of marriage, and five years of praying and hoping, I had just found out I was pregnant. A lifelong dream was coming true. Sadly, just days after getting that positive I experienced a miscarriage. The precious little life that I was so looking forward to was no more.
Days were spent with my face buried in my pillow as I cried. I cried for the life that was now gone. I cried for the memories that would never be made, the firsts I would never get to share, the snuggles that would never be. My heart and soul ached and not even the loving arms of my husband wrapped around me soothed my hurt.
I cried out in pain. It was like a piece of my heart was forcefully ripped from my chest.
I questioned my faith. What had I done that warranted a punishment such as this?
I even blamed myself. My body had rejected the child I was to carry. I felt as though I had killed my own child.
A very good friend of mine was there for me. She knew the pain I was going through. The doubts, the fears, and the self-blame. All emotions she was intimately aware of. This friend shared with me that there was nothing that I could have done. It wasn't punishment for a perceived fault. It wasn't due to me inadvertently doing something to kill my child. The pregnancy just was not to make it past the first few weeks. My friend then explained that one in four women experience a miscarriage at some point in their life.
That statistic was like a slap in the face and strong arms wrapping around me all in one.
I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone in my struggle. There were women all around the world whose pregnancies suffered the same fate as mine. As I thought about the one in four I realized that in my office of six there was a strong chance that at least two of us would miscarry at some point.
Once again I cried. Not for me, but for all the women who have, are, or would be experiencing the same life changing loss that I had.
Even after this realization though I had no idea why this would happen. Why would God take a blessing that He had given me, a child, and take it away all within a few short weeks?
It would be almost a year later before I would know.
As I sat with my Bible, pen, and paper in front of me, beginning the long process of writing a devotional book on giving God our all, willingly, that I finally knew.
Three things happened that day:
1. As I studied the story of the rich young ruler, the one whom Christ told to give up everything to follow Him and yet refused, I came across another passage. Just before the story of the rich young ruler is a story about Christ teaching. As He speaks to the multitude gathered around Him children are brought into His presence. The goal was that Christ would pray over them and bless them, but the disciples rebuked those who brought the children. Do you know what Christ did? He said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
In that moment it was as if I could suddenly see a masterpiece before me. A picture of Christ sitting with children gathered all around Him. He held each one, wrapped His loving arms around them, and I realized. I never got to hold my child, but the moment my child left this earth she was wrapped safely in the arms of Jesus. My Savior was the first to hold my child and that was so incredibly comforting. The ache in my heart that had been present for the last year suddenly eased.
2. Moments later my phone buzzed with a text from one of my best friends in the world. She shared with me that at that moment her body was miscarrying her and her husband's first child.
My heart shattered into a million pieces all over again.
I remembered with vivid clarity how it felt to know that my body could not care for the child God had blessed me with. The hopelessness, the emptiness, the deep ache that would take root in her heart. All I wanted to do in that moment was wrap my arms around her and hold her while she cried.
But then I remembered what the Lord had just shown me and a smile took up residence once again. I then shared with her what I had just come to realize, that her child was now safely in the arms of our Creator. The God who took time out of His busy ministry to speak to a handful of kids.
I prayed that the knowledge that her child was in the arms of Jesus would be comforting.
3. I finally realized why God had allowed me to experience such pain, such loss. Only those who have suffered the loss of a child can truly understand it. God had spent the last year preparing me for a whole new ministry. One I had never imagined I would have, nor that I would wish upon anyone.
The loss of a child is a pain like no other. But it is also one our Father in Heaven has experienced as well. He gave His only Son up as a sacrifice to save us from our sins. My God knows exactly how it feels to lose a child. But only through that sacrifice can I have a hope of seeing my child in Heaven one day.
My loss, and the grieving process after prepared me to be able to share with those who have suffered the same and share with them that the Almighty God knows exactly how they feel and that He is the only answer for that grief.
When I was going through the darkest time in my life to date I couldn't see the light. It was as if the storm clouds had rolled in and blotted out the sun. My prayers consisted of me crying out to God, blaming Him, questioning Him, asking for strength, for comfort. But I realize now I should have been praying something much simpler.
They say that hindsight is twenty twenty. Two and a half years after the fact I can say that is true. Instead of blaming God and begging Him to take away my pain I should have asked something much different. I should have spent time on my knees asking "Lord, make this count!"
Today I know that He answered the prayer that I should have voiced but didn't. He made it count.
The pain that I went through, that I still feel at times, has allowed me to help others.
In January of the following year, I put my newfound knowledge to use. My dear, sweet, baby nephew Noah passed away just one day after his birth. My entire family grieved. It hurt seeing that precious baby boy lying there, knowing that his life had been so short.
During that time I had the opportunity to minister to Noah's parents. Having been through a miscarriage I knew that the ultimate fear of a parent who had suffered a loss would be that their child would be forgotten. Knowing that I was able to provide them with a small painting with Noah's name on it. A small gesture to tell them that their precious baby boy would not be forgotten.
I also knew that her arms would be aching to hold her baby. I knew that because that was exactly how I felt, and still do to this day. With that knowledge, I was able to find a small way to offer comfort to a grieving mother. A small teddy bear, dressed in a blue sleeper, and with a heartbeat planted in his chest would give her something to hold close to her heart while she cried.
Had I not experienced a loss myself I would have been one of the many who had no clue how to even speak to a grieving mother.
Losing a child is something that I would never wish on anyone. However, I am thankful that God was, and is able to use my experience for good. He made it count!
We are told to "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." (Philippians 4:6).
Our God is a God of many things:
God of Comfort - "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;" 2 Corinthians 1:3
God of Love - "Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever." Psalm 136:26
God our Provider - "But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
God our Healer - "And whithersoever he entered, into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets, and besought him that they might touch if it were but the border of his garment: and as many as touched him were made whole." Mark 6:56
Our God has many more attributes, these are just a few.
When we come before our Lord with our requests, our hurts, our sorrows, and our joys He is listening.
But let me challenge you. When you are going through dark times. When you are struggling. When you are hurt. When you are at your lowest and don't know where else to turn. Instead of just asking for God to make everything better ask Him this instead.
Ask your heavenly Father to make it count.
Let Him use you. Let Him use your trials, challenges, and loss to further His kingdom. Let Him make everything you do count for something.
God has taken my sorrow and made it count. My experience allows me to minister on a more personal level with those who have gone through the same.
As painful as losing my child was I am so beyond thankful that my Lord has made it count for something.
Are you willing to allow Him to do the same for you?
Tonight I had the pleasure of attending this Bible study during which God used a woman in our church to teach me a new truth. One that I am extremely grateful for!
Many times when we pray it is for healing, strength, guidance, or to receive something we want or think we need. Others pray "Lord, Your will be done." But tonight I was challenged to pray differently.
Tonight I was challenged to pray, "Lord, make it count!"
So many times we face trials in life. Whether it be moving away from family, losing a loved one, or even financial struggles. In those times we tend to lose sight of what really matters... reaching the world with the gospel of Christ. We become so focused on our own struggles that the world around us fades into the background.
How do I know this? Because I've been there!
In April of 2015, my world was rocked at the very foundation. After six years of marriage, and five years of praying and hoping, I had just found out I was pregnant. A lifelong dream was coming true. Sadly, just days after getting that positive I experienced a miscarriage. The precious little life that I was so looking forward to was no more.
Days were spent with my face buried in my pillow as I cried. I cried for the life that was now gone. I cried for the memories that would never be made, the firsts I would never get to share, the snuggles that would never be. My heart and soul ached and not even the loving arms of my husband wrapped around me soothed my hurt.
I cried out in pain. It was like a piece of my heart was forcefully ripped from my chest.
I questioned my faith. What had I done that warranted a punishment such as this?
I even blamed myself. My body had rejected the child I was to carry. I felt as though I had killed my own child.
A very good friend of mine was there for me. She knew the pain I was going through. The doubts, the fears, and the self-blame. All emotions she was intimately aware of. This friend shared with me that there was nothing that I could have done. It wasn't punishment for a perceived fault. It wasn't due to me inadvertently doing something to kill my child. The pregnancy just was not to make it past the first few weeks. My friend then explained that one in four women experience a miscarriage at some point in their life.
That statistic was like a slap in the face and strong arms wrapping around me all in one.
I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone in my struggle. There were women all around the world whose pregnancies suffered the same fate as mine. As I thought about the one in four I realized that in my office of six there was a strong chance that at least two of us would miscarry at some point.
Once again I cried. Not for me, but for all the women who have, are, or would be experiencing the same life changing loss that I had.
Even after this realization though I had no idea why this would happen. Why would God take a blessing that He had given me, a child, and take it away all within a few short weeks?
It would be almost a year later before I would know.
As I sat with my Bible, pen, and paper in front of me, beginning the long process of writing a devotional book on giving God our all, willingly, that I finally knew.
Three things happened that day:
1. As I studied the story of the rich young ruler, the one whom Christ told to give up everything to follow Him and yet refused, I came across another passage. Just before the story of the rich young ruler is a story about Christ teaching. As He speaks to the multitude gathered around Him children are brought into His presence. The goal was that Christ would pray over them and bless them, but the disciples rebuked those who brought the children. Do you know what Christ did? He said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
In that moment it was as if I could suddenly see a masterpiece before me. A picture of Christ sitting with children gathered all around Him. He held each one, wrapped His loving arms around them, and I realized. I never got to hold my child, but the moment my child left this earth she was wrapped safely in the arms of Jesus. My Savior was the first to hold my child and that was so incredibly comforting. The ache in my heart that had been present for the last year suddenly eased.
2. Moments later my phone buzzed with a text from one of my best friends in the world. She shared with me that at that moment her body was miscarrying her and her husband's first child.
My heart shattered into a million pieces all over again.
I remembered with vivid clarity how it felt to know that my body could not care for the child God had blessed me with. The hopelessness, the emptiness, the deep ache that would take root in her heart. All I wanted to do in that moment was wrap my arms around her and hold her while she cried.
But then I remembered what the Lord had just shown me and a smile took up residence once again. I then shared with her what I had just come to realize, that her child was now safely in the arms of our Creator. The God who took time out of His busy ministry to speak to a handful of kids.
I prayed that the knowledge that her child was in the arms of Jesus would be comforting.
3. I finally realized why God had allowed me to experience such pain, such loss. Only those who have suffered the loss of a child can truly understand it. God had spent the last year preparing me for a whole new ministry. One I had never imagined I would have, nor that I would wish upon anyone.
The loss of a child is a pain like no other. But it is also one our Father in Heaven has experienced as well. He gave His only Son up as a sacrifice to save us from our sins. My God knows exactly how it feels to lose a child. But only through that sacrifice can I have a hope of seeing my child in Heaven one day.
My loss, and the grieving process after prepared me to be able to share with those who have suffered the same and share with them that the Almighty God knows exactly how they feel and that He is the only answer for that grief.
When I was going through the darkest time in my life to date I couldn't see the light. It was as if the storm clouds had rolled in and blotted out the sun. My prayers consisted of me crying out to God, blaming Him, questioning Him, asking for strength, for comfort. But I realize now I should have been praying something much simpler.
They say that hindsight is twenty twenty. Two and a half years after the fact I can say that is true. Instead of blaming God and begging Him to take away my pain I should have asked something much different. I should have spent time on my knees asking "Lord, make this count!"
Today I know that He answered the prayer that I should have voiced but didn't. He made it count.
The pain that I went through, that I still feel at times, has allowed me to help others.
In January of the following year, I put my newfound knowledge to use. My dear, sweet, baby nephew Noah passed away just one day after his birth. My entire family grieved. It hurt seeing that precious baby boy lying there, knowing that his life had been so short.
During that time I had the opportunity to minister to Noah's parents. Having been through a miscarriage I knew that the ultimate fear of a parent who had suffered a loss would be that their child would be forgotten. Knowing that I was able to provide them with a small painting with Noah's name on it. A small gesture to tell them that their precious baby boy would not be forgotten.
I also knew that her arms would be aching to hold her baby. I knew that because that was exactly how I felt, and still do to this day. With that knowledge, I was able to find a small way to offer comfort to a grieving mother. A small teddy bear, dressed in a blue sleeper, and with a heartbeat planted in his chest would give her something to hold close to her heart while she cried.
Had I not experienced a loss myself I would have been one of the many who had no clue how to even speak to a grieving mother.
Losing a child is something that I would never wish on anyone. However, I am thankful that God was, and is able to use my experience for good. He made it count!
We are told to "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." (Philippians 4:6).
Our God is a God of many things:
God of Comfort - "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;" 2 Corinthians 1:3
God of Love - "Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever." Psalm 136:26
God our Provider - "But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
God our Healer - "And whithersoever he entered, into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets, and besought him that they might touch if it were but the border of his garment: and as many as touched him were made whole." Mark 6:56
Our God has many more attributes, these are just a few.
When we come before our Lord with our requests, our hurts, our sorrows, and our joys He is listening.
But let me challenge you. When you are going through dark times. When you are struggling. When you are hurt. When you are at your lowest and don't know where else to turn. Instead of just asking for God to make everything better ask Him this instead.
Ask your heavenly Father to make it count.
Let Him use you. Let Him use your trials, challenges, and loss to further His kingdom. Let Him make everything you do count for something.
God has taken my sorrow and made it count. My experience allows me to minister on a more personal level with those who have gone through the same.
As painful as losing my child was I am so beyond thankful that my Lord has made it count for something.
Are you willing to allow Him to do the same for you?
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